Greener Pastures

KEEPER: Stop! What is your name?

GALAHAD: Sir Galahad of Camelot.

KEEPER: What is your quest?

GALAHAD: I seek the Holy Grail.

KEEPER: What is your favorite color?

GALAHAD: Blue. No yel-- Auuuuuuuugh!

Should have just said green. I have a thing, for green. It's mostly unexplainable, and certainly irrational but, until recently, I didn't realize I even had a favourite colour. In my profession it's best to be open about colours. So, how this snuck up on me I'll never know. It started simply enough with the delivery of a lime green sofa last year. The most recent addition is the apple green mixer. It seems I may have a problem. In an effort to localize the issue I did a little research on the colour green.

Here's some About.com nonsense:

Green is a restful color with some of the same calming attributes of blue. Like blue, time moves faster in a green room.

What in the heck is that last part supposed to mean? Go ahead kids, for a fun time warp, just add a little green to your Kilz. If I thought this were remotely true, I would paint every office in downtown Bartlesville emerald (well, maybe all but one). But alas, Sherwin Williams hasn't perfected the "Space Time Continuum Spruce" yet.

This next one came from a website claiming your favorite color determined your sexual prowess.

Those who prefer green are fresh and innocent in their approach to sex. Women who love green will always make love like virgins all their life. And a man may always be a trifle clumsy and awkward but in a charming and endearing sort of way. Green lovers are gentle, but not passionate. If chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.

Ahem, I'm going to go ahead and kindly disagree.

In case you are one who also needs fun facts, here are a few:

Green was George Washington's favourite color.

Green is used in night-vision goggles because it is the color with which the eye sees the most variations.

Green is the national colour of Ireland.

Suicides dropped 34% when London's Blackfriar Bridge was painted green.

If I'm going to have a favorite, I guess it might as well be green.

And, in case you were wondering, yes, they are green.

"Green is the prime color of the world, and that from which its loveliness arises."Pedro Calderon de la Barca